When I felt the Angels (Part 3 of 4)

Just before our three-year wedding anniversary, I was devastated to learn my husband and I were headed in completely different directions. The pain and betrayal I felt initially numbed me completely. The day after I learned the entire truth about our marriage I found myself outside kneeling in my garden planting the plants I had purchased a few days before this big revelation. I didn’t know what else to do with myself and the plants needed to get in the ground. I went to work with vigor and determination. After planting all but one of the ten or so plants, I was finally down to the last plant. What was I going to do after this? What was I going to do with myself? How was I going to handle all the things I had learned in the past twenty-four hours?

Then it started. A deep, primal sob began rising up through my abdomen and into my chest. It erupted into a gasp for air. It felt as though my breath had been knocked out of me. My body, racked with pain and involuntary shaking, surrendered to the sobbing. I had never experienced this before. I could not catch my breath. Panic began to surface as the thought, “What if this never stops?” raced through my mind. As my abdominal muscles clenched tighter, I remained huddled on the ground, my arms wrapped around my body, my chest to my knees. Without thought, I breathlessly whispered, “Oh God!” through my tears. It was a cry for help. I couldn’t imagine how I was ever going to get through this heartbreak, humiliation, and grief.

I felt something wrap around me. It felt like the light brush of air you feel when somebody walks past you quickly. But this air, this…energy, completely surrounded me. It was hugging me. As though enormous Angel wings were completely encompassing me. The sobbing stopped. The intense pain dissipated. My breath slowly came back to me. I stood up silently and walked to the house with peaceful automation. I felt I was being led inside, and I watched in an almost out-of-body experience as I went to a phone book and opened the yellow pages to family counselors. I saw two options. I read the first one, some of the pain came back into my abdomen, I moved to the second option, the pain went away. I dialed the number for the second option. A lady answered the phone sounding distracted and in a rush. I told her my marriage was in shambles and I needed to make an appointment. She said, “I am the counselor here and the lady who usually takes appointments for me is out for lunch, but I believe my next opening is not for two weeks.” Silently I thought in despair “Two weeks? I don’t know what to do with myself in the next two minutes!” Then the counselor said, “Actually, I’m going to move my Two O’Clock this afternoon. Can you come in then?”. Relief flooded through my body as I gratefully agreed. I know now, the Angels were working with her too. Thanks to the guidance I received that afternoon from the meeting with the counselor I was able to take steps towards gaining a sense of security I thought gone forever.

I knew the Angels were helping me again. This time I was determined to listen to their guidance. From that day forward the Angels gracefully showed me how to navigate one of the most painful and difficult periods of my life.

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When the Angels sent me a vision (Part 2 of 4)

We married in 2003 and began planning our life together. I had everything I thought I wanted. A husband and a little house on ten acres out in the country where I could see my horses through our kitchen window. I was even working for myself as a small business consultant. A couple years later we were ready to start a family. Or, I thought we were.

One evening I was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of our house watching the sun stream through the water sprinkler’s mist as the smell of newly wet grass permeated the air. I was waiting for my husband to come home from work so we could head to a family party. I was watching the rainbows the sprinkler water created just above the grass and enjoying the feeling of the light drops of water the breeze occasionally sent my way. Suddenly I saw a picture of a neighborhood before me. I recognized it as a neighborhood about forty-five minutes away from our current house. I saw myself living there. I froze and thought “How would that work? We can’t move there, there is no room.” We operated my husband’s entire business off our ten acres. We wouldn’t have room to operate out of a neighborhood. I chastised myself for even thinking of such a thing. Then another picture stood before me. It was a picture of my husband about twenty feet away from me. Looking at me and then avoiding eye contact with me. We were estranged from each other. We had no connection and we went our separate ways. My heart slammed against my chest. Thoughts race through my mind. “This would never happen! I love him! He loves me! We will grow old together and sit on these rocking chairs when we’re wrinkled and grey!” I shut the vision down just as I heard the roar of the diesel motor on his pick-up truck coming down the road of our property.

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When I first saw the Angels (Part 1 of 4)

The summer after my sophomore year in college I was going through a few personal challenges and really questioning the direction of my life. I actually felt like I was really letting God down. I knew I was here for a purpose (as we all are) but the path to my purpose was so unclear. I was not excited about my major (Accounting and Business Administration). I had just gone through a break-up and was not enthusiastic about getting out there again. And my beloved cat of thirteen years had recently been brutally killed by a couple of dogs roaming the neighborhood. I was devastated by this sudden loss.

I knew God would want me to trust his plan for me, but quite frankly, I did not feel up to the challenge.

One summer afternoon, after a morning of cleaning stalls at the barn where I worked and boarded my horse, working out, and doing homework, I decided to take a quick power nap before heading to an afternoon class. I laid down on my bed and nodded off quickly. When I woke up a few minutes later I was surrounded by golden light. Standing around my bed in a horseshoe shape were six very tall beings whose heads nearly touched the ceiling. I heard singing as if a choir was holding a note. I was not scared, just bewildered. The volume of the singing came to a crescendo quickly and then abruptly ended at the same time the beings disappeared. I rubbed my eyes quickly in complete confusion. What on earth was that? I noticed I felt lighter. I felt good. I felt energetic for the first time in a long time. I became aware of a thought. The thought was a message: “God is not disappointed in you, God loves you. Go now on your way. You will be fine.”

God had sent his Angels to raise my vibrations to a higher level, but back then I had no idea what raising your vibration even meant, nor did I know anything about the world outside of what we can physically see. At least nothing beyond what formal Christianity teaches. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would have run screaming in the other direction at that point in my life if somebody had tried to explain it to me. I was in college in the middle of the Bible belt. That stuff didn’t fly there!

I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had experienced. I kept asking myself, did that really happen? Did I really see lighted beings standing around me almost blinding me with the sheer intensity of their light? I didn’t dare tell any of my friends, it felt too personal to share. But after that afternoon, things really did begin to change for me. I was happier and enthusiastic about getting back out in the world.

Eventually, I realized I had to tell somebody. It was all too real, and I needed to be able to talk about it. I told my parents first. They told me to talk to my grandma. They reminded me she had seen her guardian angel years earlier when I was still in high school and had begun doing loads of research on Angels after her experience. I remembered her telling me about it, but being the horse-crazy, boy-crazy, teenage girl I was, I did not give it the credence it deserved.

When I spoke to her about my experience she began telling me about all the research and books and stories she had found citing similar encounters other people had described. Most similar was the intensity of the light of these beings. Although it seems they often came in many different sizes. Grandma described the being she encountered as about three feet tall, but also made entirely of white light. No features other than the shape of a head. I knew we had both seen Angels and this knowledge brought me enormous joy.

Looking back at the challenges I faced over the following five years, I am so grateful for their visit. I feel it was a highly necessary visit designed to raise my vibration to an extraordinary level to give me the strength to face the future and remain in-tune with God and myself.

Over the next year, I witnessed the loss of many fellow college students at the hands of a plane crash, a car crash, and the tragic collapse of the Bonfire at Texas A&M University. Not long after, Honey, my horse and best friend since age eleven, passed away suddenly just after I had completed an internship with a large accounting firm. During my internship, I became more and more aware of how wrong it felt to be going into the field of Accounting. Every cell in my body told me it was wrong for me. I had never wanted to be an accountant, but all the other options didn’t quite feel right either. I was good at it, I liked numbers, so I just kept going. Honey’s death clarified my priorities in life.  I did not want to work for a big accounting firm, eighty-five hours a week, never seeing my family. The very thought of it felt suffocating. Life was too important. So, I graduated with my bachelor’s in Accounting and Business Administration the following summer with the intention of taking time to find myself.

Instead, I fell in love. I was swept off my feet… and swept far away from finding myself.

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